My Never Ending Story

Below is a never ending story. Feel free to add your own paragraph to the end.
This paragraph is by Cliff
     Once upon a time there was a village idiot by the name of Cliff. Most people thought that Cliff was just a harmless programmer\weirdo person, but the truth is that he led the Sacred Brotherhood of Cliff, an international secret society, whose motto, "Veritas, Decus, et Tantus Oryx" means "Truth, Honor, and a Really Big Goat."
This paragraph is by Miss Mary
     And in this village there dwelled a fair maiden by the name of Bee, whowas much beloved by Cliff. Bee's parents, wealthy ferret pelt merchants,were much dismayed by Cliff's advances. When generous offers of cash andsweet tarts failed to cool Cliff's ardor, they enlisted the aid of Carl,the village smithy, who also happend to be the village hit-man.
This paragraph is by Fredrik Stai
     ...said Cliff one day as he walked down the Main Street of the village. Suddenly Cliff saw Bill Gates standing on a car promoting his new product - Billblows 98.
This paragraph is by Yitsel
     Bill said "Howdy Cliff, can I interest you in a copy of my new program which roots your computer, billblows 98?". Cliff walked up to Bill and punched him in the head. "Take that!" said Cliff as he walked off.
This paragraph is by mob
     And the story goes on. Bill lays on the ground and tries to call to his security guys but then comes Linus Thorwalds and hits Bill with a baseball bat. "Linux will kill your business... and you too" shouts Linus as Bill dies on the ground. But then comes 4 Bill's security guys and the big battle starts...
This paragraph is by geek
     Everyone pulled out their laptops and floppy disks started flying. A bystander was hit on the head by a 5Gb Scsi drive. Someone call 911 and the man was taken by helicopter to the hospital.
This paragraph is by Drew
     While the man was takin to the hospital bill lays dead on the ground, not moving, not breathing, BUT WHATS THIS, the sercurity guys pull out billblows 98 PLUS! and brings him back to life. OOHHH NOOO.
This paragraph is by Yitsel
     The story goes on... Billblows destroys everyone's computer, but earns Bill a load of money. Anyway, one day, while stroling through his cyberhome, Bill comes across a strange looking object. On the front, it says "Unix". Bill is intrigued by this wierd contraption, so he takes it to his microshaft developers and asks them what it is. They tell him it is an operating system like Windows, only better. It never crashes and is just all reound better. Bill loves the idea of a non-crashing Operating sstem, so he buys out Unix, along with a few more minor countries such as New Zealand and North America.
This paragraph is by lunette
     When Cliff woke up, he realized it was all a nightmare. Last nights drunken escapade had caused him to blackout. He woke up on the floor, in a fetal position with a pillow of vomit lying under his head. Very slowly, without making any sudden head movements and holding on to the walls for leverage, he made his way down the hall and into the bathroom. "Damn, seven cocktails! What was I thinking?" he groaned at his reflection in the bathroom mirror while he pissed in the sink. He wondered how he got home, how he got into the building, all he could remember was spilling his double absolut martini onto the bar and into his lap. As he washed his puke encrusted face he remembered the smell of the woman next to him, a nauseating powdery perfume and the stench of tobacco smoke. Scantily clad, with an unusually deep voice and the grace of a hooker, she introduced herself as Georgette. "Are you lonely tonight? Can I buy you a drink?" "Sure", grunted Cliff, not noticing the womans huskiness and protruding adams apple....
This paragraph is by biolight
     Cliff opened his eyes again. "Perhaps it had just been a dream," he muttered to himself as he sat up. All around him was a beautiful valley, full of industrial looking complexes with little frail white people mulling about.Many were typing furiously away at little boxes which would occasionally beep. Some were tending gardens. Others were playing with children.Cliff was really confused!He muttered again, "Good god!" At that moment, a four foot tall powder white little person jumped out of the grass in front of him. He held a white clipboard in one hand and a white feather pen in the other."Name and cubicle please," said the little man."What?" Cliff staggered to his feet. A half a dozen little men with spears were visible just beyond the tall grass, apparently hiding from him. One held a tiny box which he would ocasionally type something into, and which would occasionally beep back at him.This was getting a little confusing.
This paragraph is by JJ
     "DOH!" cliff muttered. "Don Knotts is in my box!" He stood stunned, as the celebrity took full form in front of him.
This paragraph is by Jay
     Cliff Decked Don and staggerd allong. As he was turning the corner on main and 5 he saw none other than Bill fence the only person just as rich and nerd like as Bill gates!!!
This paragraph is by SLiCY
     So Cliff saw Bill Gates, slipped out his 9mm and gave Bill some new eyes, and several more belly buttons. Cliff swaggered up to Bill's dead body, and kicked it several times to make sure he was dead. Bill Gates' have been known to come back to life from time to time. Cliff walked on and found a magic pair of pants.
This paragraph is by dewie
     Meanwhile, back in the village, fair Bee enrolled in taxidermy school where she won first place in the annual Mount A Mammal Contest. Her prize winning entry was entitled: "The Ferret Frolicks". Her moment of glory was fleeting, for as she stepped to the podium to accept her award, members of PETA dashed into the auditorium and hurling gallons of ketchup on everyone and shouting, "Free the ferrets!" Devastated by this humiliation, Bee collasped into a red, sticky mess and had to be hauled from the stage by men in white jackets. She was taken to the local looney bin (sort of a cgi-bin that dispenses medication) where she spent her days making imaginary phone calls to fast food restaurants claiming to be a french fry.
This paragraph is by Isha
     After regaining his already limited wits somewhat, Cliff went to the drugstore for some painkillers. There he heard of Bee's disappearance. Pain forgotten he ran in the direction the men in white had taken her. Panting, he came upon a fork in the road. Needless to say, he overlooked it, and stepped on it...
This paragraph is by Greed
     ... it triggered a chain reaction which opened another path, with a sign on it saying 'Bee being held here', he went in and predicted he would have to fight off a dozen little 4 foot tall powder men, but to his surprise, there she was in the middle of a circular room, tied up, Cliff ran over and untied her, and her flesh came off, which revealed bill gates, Cliff pulled out his 9mm, but as he stood there pulling the trigger several times, he noticed it was just clicking for some odd reason, so he decided to use a combination of beating him in the head and kicking him to finish him off this time, when Cliff was satisfied that Bill was dead, he then used the ropes to tie, hang and squeeze the life out of Bill, he then walked back out of the room at the fork in the road...

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Never Ending Story Script byCliff(tm),Shaven Ferret Productions, and available at