Look, Ma, no pulse!
"Et feles supra copellam salvit"
This is not a goth page, Kyle is really dead... heh, jealous? Stupid goths... OOOOOHH, my life is so dark and evil, I'm a vampire goat boy! Okay, enough goth bashing for now...

The story: On January first, 1999, Kyle died in a skiing accident. Tragic? Yeah, maybe, but hey, it's a wonderful chance to do some really innappropriate humor... Hey, you know what the last thing that went through Kyle's head was? A tree...

Moving on, I feel I should point out that this web server was built on top of an ancient Mayan burial ground, a place of such powerful magic that it actually disguises its magic as JavaScript! Spooky, huh? Anyway, Kyle's learned a lot from beyond the grave, and can share her wisdom with you here...
Kyle sez:
Kyle sez...


We've now got our own Book Full O' Death! Click here to sign it.
Fan mail from dicks
Send complaints to [email protected] or post them in our Ding, Dong, The Kyle's Dead Forum.
Well, Kyle's been a-rotting for almost a month now, and I've only received one e-mail! Fuck! Oh well, here it is... This comes from [email protected]... gee, wonder if that address is fake...
There used to be a lovely picture of a penis with at least a dozen piercings here. However, someone, let's just call her Bemily Keating thought it was innappropriate. Yeah, like this is such a serious page, we wouldn't want to do anything vulgar. Anyway, it's been replaced with this not-quite-as cool image of a man punching himself in the genitals.
Dear sick bastard,
What you are doing is wrong and disgusting. Death is no laughing matter, have you even consiedred what her family is going through? What the fuck is wrong with you? I truly hope that when you die some other asshole does the same to you. You're going staight to hell.
Confusing, isn't it? What does this strange person mean by "consiedred" and "staight"? Well, it turns out that they are both from an archaic dialect of Sanscrit. Consiedred was a word that basically meant "Please ignore the rest of this message, except for the word staight". Staight meant "I worship you, and want to bear your children". Yup, there's pretty much a word for everything in Sanscrit. Well thanks, [email protected], your compliments are appreciated! And don't worry, I'll keep working on this page to make it even more exploitive of corpse girl!

Shaven Ferret Productions

Since the last time this counter was reset, 00964 sickos have done a funny little monkey dance on Kyle's grave.